I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
