Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
