Joe is yelling at the trees again.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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