I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
