the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
