i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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