he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
