Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i dont even know how to be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
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