Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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