Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
