How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
