It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
