So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
There's a naked man in my car right now.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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