Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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