and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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