Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize