my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
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It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
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I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
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