Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Welp...herpes.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
