from now on my penis is your penis
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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