shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
