She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
ugly people sure do ruin things
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
