Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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