your thong is hanging out like whoa
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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