Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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