i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
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