Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
