You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
His hands were made for my vagina.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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