I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
