I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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