she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
