I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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