i would punch a child for taco bell
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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