Nicole vs. Life
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
