ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
