There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
We are two peas in an std pod
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
