I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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