He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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