I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
vagina is talking i cant
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
