I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
