I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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