This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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