so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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