I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
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Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
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last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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