Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
handjob tips. give me some.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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