Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
