Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
