Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
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If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
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HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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