Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
