doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
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