Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
