Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
