Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize
