Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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