Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Randomize
