i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
