Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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