hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
its liver damage thursday
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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