Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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