You work out of a Hotel?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
