third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
