Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
