this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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