i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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