Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
