just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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