i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
