if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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